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Pirate sits on a treasure chest polishing a brass spyglass. Parrot sits on a perch, staring dramatically into the distance.
Parrot
(Sighing deeply) Awwk... forty years old today.
Pirate
Arrrr! Forty is not old. Not for a parrot, anyway.
Parrot
Oh it's not that I'm old. It's that I was born too late!
Pirate
Too late for what?
Parrot
For the glory days of parrots! Once parrots sat on pirates' shoulders from dawn till dusk! We squawked warnings! We insulted sailors! We stole biscuits!
Pirate
Aye! And ya still do!
Parrot
The parrots don't squawk, there's noone to mock, I'm an over-forty victim of fate!
Pirate
Eh? There's plenty of people to mock!
Parrot
A sailor ain't a sailor anymore! They're all staring at their glowing rectangles.
Pirate
What's that?
Parrot
Exactly!
Pirate looks uncomfortable...
Parrot
And where are the shoulder-perches? Every pirate had one once. And the occupational hazard of being a parrot... is that the occupation's just not around.
Pirate looks down at his boots
Pirate
There arrrrre still parrots.
Parrot
But are there parrots of fortune? Do they cross oceans, raiding merchant ships?
Pirate
Nay, that's mostly illegal.
Parrot
See? That's what I'm talking about!
(Captain glances at the audience nervously.)
Parrot
I chase the seagulls away, but they come back the next day. And I am forced to manage a smile.
Pirate
Have you ever considered that perhaps parrots aren't the ones out of time?
Parrot